Every year around my birthday I get my chart read from an astrologer. It’s my birthday present to myself because I love the world of esoteric metaphysics and all the messages I get. This year, I was prepared with very specific questions. I wanted dates and times when things were going to happen. And sister, did I get what I wanted. My Astrologer says I’m not going to have a committed relationship ever again. Now what?
Whenever I focus on getting specific things in my life, I usually get them. It’s a skill that I’ve honed over years of staying in my flow. So, although I do this astrology thing every year, I kind of already know what’s going on. I just need confirmation.
I’ve had many astrologers advise me over the years and some have been really enthusiastic and positive in their approach. In fact, I found that the positive interpretations of my transits have sounded wonderful. But when these amazing things were supposed to happen and then didn’t, I would get angry and bewildered. I had to remind myself of the art of astrology.
The GOOD and BAD of astrology
A good astrologer will explain exactly what the possibility is when you have a certain planet in a certain house. I’m not an expert so I’m won’t get into the houses or transits. But I will say that as an art form, astrology is open to interpretation and an astrologer will always deliver the information through their personal view.
So, when I had readings from really positive astrologers, then I would only get the happy positive outcomes read to me. Which at the time would sound great and amazing but in reality, may not actually be the case in my real life.
One time, I had an astrologer tell me that my life was going to be amazing come the Autumn season. I was going to explode and be bigger than I could ever imagine. She said that I would have tons of success and money would be flowing like never before. That’s pretty amazing, right?
But in reality, that autumn was the worst season I ever had. In fact, not only did I not shine like the sun, but I plummeted into a dark night of soul type of depression. She neglected to inform me of another aspect that was looming. A dark cloud of sorts. This was what my reality turned out to be, the complete opposite of what she forecasted.
So why do I keep going back to astrology if that reading was so inaccurate?
Well, I haven’t gone back to that particular astrologer, that’s for sure. But I go back every year because I love gathering information from many sources. I’m the type of person who needs to learn constantly and see different sides to life. It helps me see the balance and wholeness of this life experience.
The pragmatic astrologer
This year, I returned to an astrologer that at first rubbed me the wrong way. Why? Because he wasn’t positive in his readings. Go figure. This was my clue that I needed to listen to what he had to say.
He was and is a very pragmatic astrologer. He delivers the information in a neutral matter-of-fact-way. And he gives me the opportunity in this information, not the sugar coated positive version.
This, I like.
I want the option to decide whether it’s going to happen or not. And when I have a knowing of the way it’s going to be and he confirms it. Then I know it’s true.
No more long term relationship for me!
So, I asked him this time directly, “will I ever have a long term, this is truly the one, soul mate relationship to the end?”
He said NO!
Wait, but… but…
Wait just one minute here. I say to myself, “haven’t you been asking yourself all year long if you want another long-term romantic relationship?” and “haven’t you answered, no!”
Yes, it’s true. I have been asking myself if I want another committed long term relationship, where someone lives in my space.
Let’s get this straight. You can decide how you want your relationships to be. Whether they live with you or have their own place etc. There’s no limit to the combinations and permutations of how we live in a loving romantic relationship.
But the type of relationship I now want is very unconventional. I don’t want to live with anyone anymore. I want to be free to take off around the world if I want to with my girlfriends. I want total freedom to be me all the time. That realization has taken me 50 plus years to define, so why would I want to disrupt this plan with a full-time partner?
I don’t! And he confirmed it.
What is long term anyway?
Here’s the thing that I want you to realize. Time is not linear.
By that I mean, the sequence of events that happen in our lives may appear to happen one at a time. But what’s really happening is that the past and future are always influencing how you live today. It’s not a linear existence. So, our relationships aren’t linear either.
The way I see it is that I’ve already had that “soul-mate long term devoted” relationship experience. Yes, as horrible as the marriage was, we were soul mates on a level. We had to come together to learn from each other. I got the lessons and have evolved from it.
So, for me to want to commit to another relationship at this point in my life, would be too confining in the way it’s defined in our world. We are evolving our way of doing love and relationship and I am evolving with this. As are you.
Although my Astrologer says I’m not going to have a committed relationship ever again, he means that in the most traditional sense.
I know deep in my heart, that I will have many deeply loving relationships (as I now have with my current untraditional partnership). Some will be short and others more long term.
This scenario is not one that I’m unhappy about. In fact, this confirmation of my feelings has given me the freedom to stop worrying about it. I don’t have to wonder if I’m going to repeat the past, because I know that I’m not, and if my Astrologer says I’m not going to have a committed relationship ever again… then I’m OK with that.
WOW…this is where I have been dancing. as well! I have trouble sometimes processing and standing in the NEW FOUND ME..and not falling back into what I THINK IS A NORMAL UNION. I want CONNECTION and I get it better than ever with this new standing self power I carry. However, when it is time to part to our own worlds. I still feel stuck a bit about which world to participate in and how..but, at the same time relish a bit in having my own space. Continuing to search for the right rythm in my life dance!!!
Beautiful said Amy. This is a dance and the more you practice the better you’ll become at distinguishing the old from the new found freedom of self actualized love. You are a bright light. x