How to Divorce 2020

This year has been like one long divorce process. We felt something was amiss but didn’t want to acknowledge it. We saw the signs but didn’t want to admit that we had to make changes and then BAM! We experienced an end to our lives as we know it. Now we are struggling to negotiate the terms and learning how to divorce 2020.


At first there was shock and trauma over an unexpected stop to the normality of our lives.


We asked questions like:  What just happened?


Where did this unexpected event come from?


Why didn’t we see it coming?


And what do we do now?


Excuses, Excuses, Excuses…


What we do now is acknowledge where we went wrong. Just like a failing relationship, we refused to acknowledge that things weren’t working. We made excuses for our politicians not addressing the things that mattered most and let them spin stories of why they couldn’t fix things.


Similarly, we made excuses for our partner’s behaviour – like they are too stressed at work and have other more important things to deal with other than the dysfunction of the relationship.


And we applied these excuses to ourselves as well. We were too busy and stressed to make the effort to ask for what we needed.  We gave our power away and waited for our partners (aka politicians) to step up and address the real issues or we just didn’t know how to ask. Either way, we failed ourselves in this relationship. How do we course correct for 2021?


Now that hindsight is 2020


We course correct by letting go of the excuses and also by acknowledging that this has been a very difficult time for everyone.


Just like this past year, divorce is messy. It can be complicated, unpredictable. Sometimes things seem to be working out and then they don’t and you’re at square one again. You have to reassess what didn’t work and chart a new path to what you think will be a better outcome. It is a rollercoaster ride like nothing else and it challenges all parts of your being.


Yes, we lived through and survived (barely) the divorce of 2020. But what now? Is it over just because the calendar has changed?


I wish that a change in the calendar has that much power over our thought process. Life would be so easy if we could simply say to ourselves, yesterday this happened and today is a different day, so let’s do it differently. Oh wait, it really is that easy.


It’s easy when you are open to the learning. What are the gifts this experience has taught us and how do we apply it in a new way from a new perspective? Do this little exercise below by asking yourself 3 questions.


How do we finally Divorce 2020?


There are 3 things you can do to divorce 2020.


  1. We start by asking ourselves, what we were grateful for this year?


Were you grateful for learning a new way of connecting to your friends and family?

Did you learn a new way to make an income?

Or were you able to dive deeper into your meditation practice?


Take your time and write this down.


  1. Then once you have established gratitude for this experience, ask yourself, what do I need to let go of?


What behavior, thought process or story that you’ve been telling yourself, no longer works for this new life you are charting? You’ll know this instantly.


Just write it down without getting into the story of why. What do you have to let go of?


Are you letting go of anxiety, neediness, fear, or shame?  Are you letting go of insecurity and procrastination? Or is it the need to be right or “perfect” or the need to fix the people around you?


Take your time and write this down.


  1. Finally, ask yourself, what does my soul want to tell me?


Our soul is our guide through this life. We can call it our guides, our angels, our intuition, our heart. Whatever nomenclature that works for you, use it.


Make no mistake, it’s not our mind that guides us on our journey. Our mind is the gatekeeper, the inner critic, the entity that steers us away from danger. This is not what I want you to use right now.


This is the gentle voice that encourages us and tells us to be resilient and strong. It is our knowing when we are at our most relaxed.


What is your soul telling you?


Take your time and write down whatever comes up.



You are the creator of your own life


This is your way out of this divorce. You have it within you to blow away the fog of this past year and create a new life.


The life that you’ve always dreamt of is just over there waiting for you to embody its resonance.


We are in a transition that effects all areas of our lives. And what is leading the way is how we love. If we don’t take the time to learn how to love well; love ourselves well first and then love everyone else in our lives, then we are going to repeat 2020 and make the same mistakes. No thank you!


Let’s learn how to divorce 2020 well by finding the things that you’re grateful for, by letting go of the things that don’t work in your life and then finally by letting your soul guide you through the craziness to create the love life you have always wanted.


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