Esther Perel says the first sign that your relationship is over is lack of sex. I believe it happens way before that and if you want to make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes in a new relationship you need to find a new way of intimacy, Tantra and juicy love.
Our way of living is changing in all areas.
We are waking up to the realization that the old way isn’t working any more. To have a great relationship you have to embrace these new ways. At the same time, you have to do some ground work first.
The ground work involves stepping into the future with lessons learned from the past. Without learning these lessons, you are destined to repeat the past. The past decisions, habits and attitudes about intimacy will simply repeat. Like that definition for insanity.
The insane thing is that many women still think that it’s ok to have mediocre sex without an orgasm. They are resigned to the fact that sex won’t be good, but as long as their partner is happy, then that’s somehow acceptable.
Studies show that 75% of women don’t have an orgasm and yet 95% of men have an orgasm. How does this make sense in this day and age and why have we as women allowed this to happen?
Bad sex is learned.
We’ve been taught to ignore our needs as women. More accurately we’ve been taught that we don’t have sexual urges and if we do, they should be stuffed away like a secret sin. It’s as if after the sexual revolution of the 60’s we have gone backwards into the dark ages and instead of making healthy sex as part of our daily expression, we’ve shoved it into the dusty dark corners of the internet and on porn sites.
If studies reveal that 70% of all men on this planet are regular consumers of porn, how can we expect our male partners to understand that women aren’t just objects to satisfy their sexual urges or just there to release their tension? We teach them by refusing to assume the role of object and by embodying our divine feminine power. That’s how.
A new way of intimacy
We learn from our mistakes in our relationships. And we grow from these mistakes only if we put this new learning into action and practice a new way of intimacy where we put our needs first.
When we take care of ourselves and put our needs first then we practice self-love. Self-love isn’t just about reframing our inner thoughts, but practicing self-love literally. Making sure our intimate needs are met first is just as important as putting our emotional needs first.
I’m speaking specifically about sexual intimacy as well as emotional intimacy.
Sexual intimacy isn’t something we’ve been taught to explore as females. We understood that boys masturbated no matter how many times we told them God would blind them if they did it too much. Yes, I remember this being said when I was a child.
Girls weren’t acknowledged for having sexual urges, even though we did. We kept it a was secret. No one talked about it or explained that it was part of exploring our body. Or that we too, should have our sexual needs met in relationship. That’s because our mothers also didn’t have permission to enjoy sexual pleasure.
This is where Tantra comes in
I love Tantra practice as a way of achieving enlightenment through the embodiment of love. Sexual practice as a method of finding our way to a higher level of existence allows us to understand that sex isn’t just about our carnal urges, but a way of connecting to ourselves and all things in a spiritual way.
It’s the practice of becoming love rather than simply waiting for love to find us.
We can take charge of our sexual intimacy as we come to know our divine feminine essence.
It’s divine because it’s our true nature (connected to the divine) as females.
Of course, we have both feminine and masculine essences as do males. But it is when we embrace our true feminine then we can attract the true masculine if that’s what we want. There has to be this polarity for good sexual intimacy to ignite. This is the spark that we all crave in relationships.
This polarity creates attraction. When we embrace and live in our divine feminine essence we allow the males around us to live in their divine masculine essence. This is when the magic happens. This is when we can become the receiver instead of giving all the time.
When we can relax into receiving we find our flow, we recharge our energy, we gain confidence in knowing that it’s safe to relax and trust again. This is when sexual intimacy becomes a play of energies, fun, energizing, juicy and spiritual.
The way of Juicy love
We all want and deserve an exceptional relationship. This means that we can be ourselves, communicate our desires, have trust and care for each other and be secure in our honesty.
This is what an amazing relationship is all about. And to have it means we can also have lots of juicy sexual intimacy that elevates our relationship and our existence.
We can learn from our past relationships and create a new way of intimacy, Tantra and a juicy love that never fades.
Explore Sacred Sexuality for Women
In this virtual retreat you will learn the principles of sacred sexuality, discover how to live in our divine feminine essence and create juicy intimacy while maintaining your boundaries.
Click here to learn more.
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