I have found that everything we’re taught about gratitude is true and that being thankful is the best way to reach freedom and self-love. But when you struggle with thoughts that remind you that you aren’t where you “should” be in your life, the idea of being grateful then becomes an Olympian challenge to achieve. Is it possible to have gratitude for your divorce? I have some thoughts on the subject.
We know that break-ups and divorces suck big time. They reinforce that you’ve failed somewhere. You picked badly and then made the wrong decisions for your life. You convinced yourself that this time would be different and then ignored the warning signs… Ok, enough of those thoughts.
I have to tell you this one truth:
The only way to evolve and grow and be the best person you can be, is to make as many mistakes as possible, i.e. gratitude and divorce. The trick then is to learn from these mistakes and not dwell on them. And that is the golden ticket.
It’s in the learning opportunity that we get from our heartbreak that allows us to see the things that we couldn’t see when we were in La La Love Land. That’s the land we fall into when we are in the honeymoon, love addiction phase of a new relationship.
LA LA LOVE LAND
When we fall into love – we become infatuated. We lose sight of the things that we need to see to make better decisions for ourselves. And then we convince ourselves that even if we do see the cracks that they aren’t so bad really.
I remember La La Love Land. Sometimes I still fall back into the dream world that I thought I had created in my marriage. The dreams of travelling and working together and being fabulous together. I was the only one dreaming this of course.
Just the other day, I caught myself saying “I thought my life would be like blah, blah, blah by now.”
There it was again. The Failure Meter in my mind going off again. It used to go off many times in a day until I got it under control.
GET GRATITUDE FIRST
Now when I sense that Failure Meter warming up, I quickly begin the practice of bringing in gratitude. I shift my focus to the good things in my life.
By making gratitude your dominant dialogue in your mind, you can quickly regain control and avoid the rabbit hole of despair. This daily practice will get you into the higher alignment vibration energy. And when this happens, you open up to whatever possibility you want in your life.
Then all you have to do is find those dreams you had and make them your new priority.
Gateway to Gratitude Method:
- Recognize when that Failure Meter gets turned on. “I thought I’d be married by now”
- Quickly, remind yourself of something great about yourself. “I am an amazing at supporting my soul sisters”
- Bring in gratitude, “I am so thankful to have my loving supportive community that shows me every day that I’m not alone.”
- Now bask in that gratitude by reaching out to one of your soul sisters and thank them for being there for you.
As we reach another Thanksgiving and the month of October, which also happens to be my birthday. I get to make my Big List of Gratitude. Here it is.
I am Thankful for:
- hugs from my children
- deep loving connection of my soul sisters
- the healing love from my mother
- the courage I’ve developed to correct my mistakes
- the resilience and determination I have to help women
- my amazing body and its ability to heal
- courage to ask for what I need and want in this life
- my open-mindedness
- my ability to forgive and continue to love even when I’ve been betrayed
- my Ex for finally releasing me
And most importantly, I am thankful for the support I get from you and women who are on this same path of healing to live their best life.
So much love.