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I have found that everything we’re taught about gratitude is true and that being thankful is the best way to reach freedom and self-love. But when you struggle with thoughts that remind you that you aren’t where you “should” be in your life, the idea of being grateful then becomes an Olympian challenge to achieve. Is it possible to have gratitude for your divorce? I have some thoughts on the subject. We know that break-ups and divorces suck big time.

When you’re in big “Heartbreak Land”, it’s difficult to be an adult. Your emotions take over and all you can think of is the pain and grief that you have to now endure. It’s at this very moment that you can decide how your grieving process will go by taking control of your emotional self, aka your Inner Child. How to parent your Inner Child during your breakup is the key to effectively communicating your needs in a relationship and

I consider myself an expert on narcissistic behavior disorder. My credentials include being the daughter of a narcissistic mother and then picking a narcissistic now ex-husband. These two fundamental love relationships allowed me to become acutely aware of  narcissist energy – from how they love bomb to how they use manipulative language to keep you hooked. Now I want to teach you how to spot a narcissist from a mile away. If you spot it, you got it I proudly

To have the beautiful relationship that you want and deserve, there has to be good communication. But if you’ve been taught to shut down your voice or express yourself from your wounded inner child then you’ll find getting what you want to be difficult. Without good communication, relationships break down and then fall apart. Reclaiming your voice after it’s been shut down is the foundation of recreating your new relationship. Here’s where some of my clients would say, “this is

When you are going through divorce, the fear of being alone can be far greater than being with a person who no longer loves you.  There’s a tendency is to ignore or convince yourself that your partner’s behavior is acceptable. The fear of being alone overrides the fear of being treated badly because at least you aren’t alone or are you…

How to Break a Soul Contract

When it’s impossible to break away from a toxic relationship, what options do you have? You know it’s toxic. You know that you have to break free from it to live more fully. But there seems to be this invisible force that won’t allow you to release its hold on you. Discover the underlying story and its intensity in your life and then learn how to break a soul contract so you can find freedom and peace.   Energetic cords

Do you remember certain phrases that you heard as a child, that today you would consider to be sexist or harmful to how you would see yourself?  You might not realize that some of the seemingly harmless phrases you were told are the very words that have kept you stuck and picking the same undesirable partners. Let’s have a look at some of them and learn how to eliminate damaging self-talk from your life. Manifesting your love life is more

Here’s something I have to admit to you. I didn’t know what it meant to be a second-sex until I got married. I realized that I was living my life in mostly a masculine energy way and that if I wanted to be in a healthy relationship with a male that I would have to learn how to find true power – the feminine essence. Masculine vs feminine when I was young I never experienced male superiority of any kind when I was young. Or maybe I did but…

Love is all powerful. It can elevate your life and give you superpowers you never thought existed. But when it’s withheld or blocked then the damage can be irreparable unless you practice the antidote to denied love. Is there an antidote to denied love? We are seeing it in the world right now in a macro way. Our governments have made human connection illegal. You will be fined if you go too close or reveal your smile to anyone…

You understand that forgiveness is a doorway to happiness, growth and freedom. You know you have to find forgiveness for all the wrong that you’ve experienced in your life to be free. But when the offence is too big to comprehend, and when it’s impossible to forgive, how do you let go of the victim story that’s holding you back? What other alternatives to forgiveness is there that will make your journey more bearable…

You can’t be a human being without experiencing heartbreak. It’s part of the human condition and it’s part of our experience from the very beginning of our lives.  The challenge then becomes how to heal from heartbreak and accept that heartbreak is a temporary condition.  We have the power to change this part of our life experience by understanding that there are 7 costs of heartbreak and how we can regain our happy self…

What does that even mean in this day and age? I believe to learn how to live your best life it must be part illusion, part creation. You once had a dream of what your life would be like. You know, the dream with the super successful “love of your life” by your side, kids all A+ highly motivated students, your dream home with a Mercedes – Benz GLA or Tesla, frequent exotic adventures and daily party invitations. No? Maybe

Esther Perel says the first sign that your relationship is over is lack of sex. I believe it happens way before that and if you want to make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes in a new relationship you need to find a new way of intimacy, Tantra and juicy love. Our way of living is changing in all areas. We are waking up to the realization that the old way isn’t working any more. To have a great

This year has been like one long divorce process. We felt something was amiss but didn’t want to acknowledge it. We saw the signs but didn’t want to admit that we had to make changes and then BAM! We experienced an end to our lives as we know it. Now we are struggling to negotiate the terms and learning how to divorce 2020.   At first there was shock and trauma over an unexpected stop to the normality of our

You’re done, separated, divorced and you think everything is copacetic. You’ve gone your separate ways. The joint custody schedule with the kids is running smoothly. You think you can finally get on with your life and then it happens. Your Ex has a new girlfriend. And now your Ex wants to introduce the new GF to your kids. What do you do?   Just when you think you’ve got your emotions all sorted out and your schedule is filled with

Every year around my birthday I get my chart read from an astrologer. It’s my birthday present to myself because I love the world of esoteric metaphysics and all the messages I get. This year, I was prepared with very specific questions. I wanted dates and times when things were going to happen. And sister, did I get what I wanted. My Astrologer says I’m not going to have a committed relationship ever again. Now what?   Whenever I focus

You have your list of things that went wrong in your relationship. You know exactly when it started and the first conversation that sparked the breakdown. It was an argument that didn’t get resolved or a behaviour that you could no longer tolerate. But was it really those things or was it something underneath that sparked those behaviours. What if the real reason you broke up wasn’t the obvious but something else that you couldn’t see?   Relationships shouldn’t be

Our society doesn’t like things to be out of order. It says, we should all be in loving relationships and if you’re not, then there’s something wrong with you.  Your challenge then becomes eliminating the shame of not being partnered. I remember, viscerally, the feeling of being shunned and ostracized by the women who were part of my neighbourhood Mom tribe. The many years of supporting each other with our children: the PTA meetings, Fund-raisers, last-minute babysitting, chicken soup deliveries

Is there a higher love? That’s a great question.   I’ve often imagined the perfect love life with everything working out beautifully, just like in the movies. But reality is quite different from the movies. A higher love has elements that must be met before we can reach the highest level on our Gantt chart of love. Does it really exist if our only reference of it is in the world of make belief? Or is there really a higher

When I started doing things that were out of character and saying things to colleagues that confused even me, I knew things weren’t right. I started realizing that I was in trauma during my separation.  I had to find out how to cope with the trauma of my divorce.   STRESS or TRAUMA?   It’s now in the zeitgeist, and we’re all being shown trauma. But back then we were only dealing with “stress”. It was because I was stressed

When you fail at your love life, it can either stop you from moving forward or it can propel you to learn how to do better. If you don’t take on the learning, it can stop you from living the love life you want… I know this one is a struggle because we all do it to some degree. But I want you to remember that just because you’ve failed…doesn’t mean that you’re a failure. FAILURE We all have to

You might be thinking that it’s time for you to start dating again. What has it been six months, two years, five years since you even thought about finding a romantic partner? And that’s ok, because if you’re ready, then it’s time. But first, consider these five rules for dating after divorce. So, you feel ready, but you’re not 100% sure. Your heartbreak grief is gone, and you’re ready to get back out there and find a new partner. You

Eating through trauma is a misnomer. Because when you’re in trauma, you simply can’t eat. Even though our body needs essential nutrients to recover from the trauma our body is experiencing, it’s just not possible. When we are in trauma from heartbreak, it’s like a double whammy of heart pain and shock. And I have some ways to help your body recover from the trauma so that you can eat again. The first thing our body does when we are

Since the 60’s when psychologist, John Bowlby, developed Attachment Theory, we have had a plethora of information about dating, conscious coupling, and relationships. I don’t think there is anything that consumes us more than discovering the A, B, C’s of a great romantic relationship. With all of the information out there, no one will warn you about this one attachment style to avoid. But I will. John Bowlby studied children and how they attached to their parents. He concluded that children are

Going through a divorce or romantic breakup of any kind is traumatic. Your hopes and dreams of a future together vanish, leaving you bewildered, dumbfounded, and emotionally gutted. It’s as if your world has just turned upside down, and you’re free-floating without an anchor. The emotional devastation you experience during a break up is phase one of the grief process; shock and denial. And there are 3 things you can do right now to get over your separation shock. Separation

When entering into a relationship, there must be a level of trust for intimacy to take place. Trust is the gateway to intimacy; without it, there is no possibility for closeness to happen. But when trust is broken, and betrayal shows up, then you must make a decision about that relationship and all others. Do you use this experience as a benchmark for all other relationships? Or do you learn how to trust again after a betrayal? The Genesis of

“It felt like I was drop-kicked into outer space.” Those were the words I used with my therapist to describe the feeling I was going through during my separation. For years, I had this sensation of free-falling. It was intense as I tried to grasp onto whatever I could during my fall. I had to learn how to deal with and overcome this new sense of abandonment. I found that I could overcome abandonment by working on my roots. Men

It hit me like a slap in the face. After a good whining session, my third lawyer said, ”Well, you picked him.” Gasp! I was shattered by the insensitivity that came out of his mouth. How dare he blame me for my ex’s bad behavior! Feeling victimized all over again, I left the office deflated and feeling powerless. I thought to myself, “Will no one stick up for me?” It was a hard road but I finally understood how forgiveness

Loneliness is considered a Modern-Day Epidemic. We are 30% more lonely than we were in 1984, and this statistic keeps rising. It seems coincidental with the parallel to the divorce rate and decreased rate of marriage. But with being more connected than ever, this paradox follows the trends of polarity we are seeing in many areas of our human existence. Without belaboring the point with all kinds of theories, let’s dive into why you are going through this loneliness and

If you are still in search of your soulmate; If you haven’t been beaten down enough by your divorce, and are still enthusiastic and hopeful, then you may still be asking this question. “Where is my soulmate?”  The first or second or third (I don’t judge) spouse certainly wasn’t the one. Because if they were, then the divorce wouldn’t have happened, right? Let’s get some clarity over how this soulmate thing works. What is a soulmate after all? According to

According to Dr. Gary Chapman in his highly popular book The 5 Love Languages, you communicate with your lover with only five love languages. When you do the quiz, the results show the 5 in your particular order of importance. This is supposed to resolve all your communication issues so you can live happily ever after. But I believe it’s not so simple and that there is a Master Love language that is indeed running the show. Once you discover

It’s OK to be angry.  Many people are walking around right now who are angry and frustrated with their lives for whatever reason. And when you travel the journey of heartbreak after a breakup or divorce, you will hit the angry button one day, guaranteed. If you don’t already have good practices around dissolving your anger, you will suffer the volcano effect and create more damage in your life. Here are 3 ways to control your anger safely and effectively.

The survival of our species is at risk unless we drastically change our habits and attitudes towards sex and embrace a new way of being intimate. Who needs enlightened sex? I do. You do. We all do. And here’s why. According to a 2018 survey as noted in Trends Research Institute, 64% of Japan’s 18 -34-year-olds are virgins or have never been in a romantic relationship. Also, the “Japan Family Planning Association found that 45 percent of women and 26

I’m surprised to admit that I’ve been looking to the past lately. I preach living in the present and recreating your future. And I encourage seeing the past as a lesson, so it’s a bit of a shock that I find myself in some sort of nostalgic reminiscing land. As I continue on the quest to find my new place, I also find myself missing the home that I spent 20 years to build. I used to be perplexed by

One of the first things to go when we’re in heartbreak is our diet. We will do anything to feel better, and that includes eating all the foods we know are bad for us. Even when we know the after-effects will be undesirable, we just can’t help it. We’re wired for pleasure. But there is a way to recover and heal by breaking free from heartbreak addiction through the foods you eat. I did it. My go-to feel better food

We are continually rewiring our brains all day long. Whenever we do something different in our routine, or when we have to deal with a new situation, we are retraining our brain to think about it in a new way so we can access some further information. Pro Athletes and high performers do it all the time. And I’ll show you how to rewire your brain for the love you want in 5 steps. “I guess I could try hypnotherapy

Setting healthy boundaries after a breakup has taken on a new definition. With social media and modern technology, it seems like making a clean break is an impossible task. It’s all about how you do it that matters. We’ll explore how the power of “NO” is more important than ever when you want to forget and get on with your life. Why you can’t let go As I look back on my 20-year marriage and all of the signals that

Studies show how sugar destroys your sex life. We now know that sugar is an issue in our society. The amount we consume is responsible for many common autoimmune diseases like diabetes and metabolic syndrome and others.  But what we don’t know is how our consumption of sugar has severe repercussions on our ability to have deep, meaningful connections, fantastic sex, and, on our love life as a whole. Sugar has been around for a long time; since the 1700s.

There were times when I thought that phase of my life would never end. My separation process lasted 5 years and seemed like an eternity. I lived in a perpetual state of not knowing what would happen next. I held my breath, bracing for the next gut-wrenching blow to a wound already open and festering. Emotional purgatory is what I used to call it. I longed to reclaim my life. I prayed for a resurrection. Was I in grief, trauma,

One of the first things to go when we’re in heartbreak is our diet. We will do anything to feel better, and that includes eating all the foods we know are bad for us. But if you make some small adjustments to your diet, you can eat your way to happiness. I did it. My go-to feel better food is sugar. I now know that it’s an addiction, but back then, all I could do to feel better was dive

I’m in a big dark room, laying on a camping mat in my dusty sleeping bag and blanket, with a stranger watching over me “sitting” on a chair at my side. Loud dramatic music starts to play and then I hear it. The breathing of 8 other people is pronounced but barely audible through the music. That’s my cue to start my breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Rhythmic, intense, diaphragm heaving. Is this really how breathwork

You think you’re over it. Your friends are pushing you to get online and start dating again. Or even worse, they try to set you up. But after all this time, are you really over your ex? How can you tell if you’re really over heartbreak? For you to answer that question, you first have to understand the phases of heartbreak and where you might be stuck. Heartbreak is grief. It’s the most common form of pain and most prevalent

I recently decided to go back to dating sites. Like a new addiction, the thought of having new conversations and possibly meeting up with new and different men seemed a little exciting. It pulled me back in like a black hole consumes matter. With all my coaching tools in hand, I decided to enlist my PMA – Positive Mental Attitude. It has helped me out in many a life-altering situation and so with a big PMA on my forehead, I

So, you’ve spent so much of your energy breaking free from your Ex, and now you’re not happy to be alone? WTF!!! Let me help you out with these 3 Steps to your ultimate happiness. We all want to have the freedom to be who we are and do what we want. And this is especially true when we have tasted what freedom feels like after recovering from a divorce or break-up. Freedom can be liberating and scary all at

When our belief system stops us from doing the things we want to do, then we have to address what is holding us back from doing the things we want.

Eating is fundamental. We need it to live of course, but did you know how you eat is affecting your love life? Many factors affect our energy and how we project ourselves. Our inner dialogue, emotional well-being, perceived level of security, friends, and family, and what we put in your body all affect our outer self-image. How we feel about ourselves takes all of these outside influences into account. They all affect how we think about our bodies and how

If you have ever been a “giver” or a “fixer” or a “nurturer.” Then listen up. I’ve compiled 6 signs showing you’re a masochist. When we give to depletion, we create an imbalance in our bodies, our lives, and in our souls. It’s not that the other person is selfish, a liar, and a taker. We let them be selfish, lie, and take because we are masochists. #truthbomb. Let’s explore this a bit more. There are two definitions of a

In the way of the Buddha, there is no one to blame but yourself.  Or put another way, you are in complete control of everything that happens in your life whether you are conscious of this or not.  And forgiveness is one of the Buddhist teachings anyway so even if you wanted to blame someone, you have to forgive them at the same time. However, you can blame your parents for your divorce. And when it comes to your romantic

I do this thing every year to make sure that I’m on track with my life.  It’s like a big life check-in. This is how I take back my power. It’s called Astrology.  Now I’m sure some of you are rolling your eyes right now, like my son always does when I talk about Mercury Retrograde or when I text him a picture of his horoscope from my favorite astrologer in NOW magazine (a local Toronto Tabloid). I did my

When we feel like our life is falling apart, we cling to behaviors that make us feel like we have control. Eating is typical behavior. When you learn to eat through your grief, you can mitigate the long term damages that a poor diet will have on your body. We don’t want to feel the pain of heartbreak, and we naturally will do anything to distract ourselves from it. And the most common form of distraction I see is with