Archives for relationships

Blame Your Parents For Your Divorce.

In the way of the Buddha, there is no one to blame but yourself.  Or put another way, you are in complete control of everything that happens in your life whether you are conscious of this or not.  And forgiveness is one of the Buddhist teachings anyway so even if you wanted to blame someone, you have to forgive them at the same time. However, you can blame your parents for your divorce. And when
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Eliminating the shame of not being partnered

Our society doesn’t like things to be out of order. It says, we should all be in loving relationships and if you’re not, then there’s something wrong with you.  Your challenge then becomes eliminating the shame of not being partnered. I remember, viscerally, the feeling of being shunned and ostracized by the women who were part of my neighbourhood Mom tribe. The many years of supporting each other with our children: the PTA meetings, Fund-raisers,
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Flowing through grief

Sadness starts as a thought. The realization that something has ended, is lost, will never be, will never be again. It strikes hard. The body reacts and then you must decide; do I resist this and try my best to pretend it didn’t happen or do I accept it and start flowing through the grief? That’s the question. I have found that the 6 stages of heartbreak each have their own quality. And when you
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Overcome Abandonment by Working on Your Roots

“It felt like I was drop-kicked into outer space.” Those were the words I used with my therapist to describe the feeling I was going through during my separation. For years, I had this sensation of free-falling. It was intense as I tried to grasp onto whatever I could during my fall. I had to learn how to deal with and overcome this new sense of abandonment. I found that I could overcome abandonment by
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How to spot a narcissist from a mile away.

I consider myself an expert on narcissistic behavior disorder. My credentials include being the daughter of a narcissistic mother and then picking a narcissistic now ex-husband. These two fundamental love relationships allowed me to become acutely aware of  narcissist energy – from how they love bomb to how they use manipulative language to keep you hooked. Now I want to teach you how to spot a narcissist from a mile away. If you spot it,
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How to Find True Power – the Feminine Essence

Here’s something I have to admit to you. I didn’t know what it meant to be a second-sex until I got married. I realized that I was living my life in mostly a masculine energy way and that if I wanted to be in a healthy relationship with a male that I would have to learn how to find true power - the feminine essence. Masculine vs feminine when I was young I never experienced male superiority of any kind when I was young. Or maybe I did but...
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My Astrologer says I’m not going to have a committed relationship ever again. Now what?

Every year around my birthday I get my chart read from an astrologer. It’s my birthday present to myself because I love the world of esoteric metaphysics and all the messages I get. This year, I was prepared with very specific questions. I wanted dates and times when things were going to happen. And sister, did I get what I wanted. My Astrologer says I’m not going to have a committed relationship ever again. Now
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The Attachment Style to Avoid

Since the 60’s when psychologist, John Bowlby, developed Attachment Theory, we have had a plethora of information about dating, conscious coupling, and relationships. I don’t think there is anything that consumes us more than discovering the A, B, C’s of a great romantic relationship. With all of the information out there, no one will warn you about this one attachment style to avoid. But I will. John Bowlby studied children and how they attached to their parents.
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How to Trust After Betrayal and Stop the Lying

When entering into a relationship, there must be a level of trust for intimacy to take place. Trust is the gateway to intimacy; without it, there is no possibility for closeness to happen. But when trust is broken, and betrayal shows up, then you must make a decision about that relationship and all others. Do you use this experience as a benchmark for all other relationships? Or do you learn how to trust again after
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Who Needs Enlightened Sex?

The survival of our species is at risk unless we drastically change our habits and attitudes towards sex and embrace a new way of being intimate. Who needs enlightened sex? I do. You do. We all do. And here’s why. According to a 2018 survey as noted in Trends Research Institute, 64% of Japan’s 18 -34-year-olds are virgins or have never been in a romantic relationship. Also, the “Japan Family Planning Association found that 45
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