Archives for relationships

The FUCK YES Method of Boundary setting

Deeper we go into boundary setting because we are doing it wrong and that’s why they are so difficult to maintain. If you focus on what you don’t want, you will only get what you don’t want. But if you focus on what you want then what you don’t want will never appear. It’s the FUCK YES Method of boundary setting.   Get it. It’s that simple a concept. But how do we apply it?
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It’s time to let those thoughts know who’s in charge.

The toughest thing we have to contend with when we are learning to love ourselves again, are our thoughts. It’s time to let those thoughts know who’s in charge. No matter what traumas and adverse experiences you’ve had, it’s the thoughts and resulting beliefs you make up from those experiences. Contrary to popular belief, you can control your thoughts.  You are in charge of your mind, not the other way around. Like a Navy Seal,
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Forgiveness leaves a trail…Track it and let it go

Sometimes when we say we forgive someone, we really mean that we are trying to forgive them. The reality of forgiveness is that it’s an ongoing practice and never an absolute one method. Forgiveness leaves a trail…Track it and let it go I thought I had forgiveness all wrapped up but didn’t realize that I forgot about resent.   Many years ago, in the middle of my marriage, I realized that I needed to do
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Where do you go when love hurts?

When we experience heart break we go somewhere. Usually out of our body back to a time when that same pain was first experienced. We call it childhood trauma or our inner child or the shadow side. Where ever you go, it’s a repeating pattern that keeps us in heartbreak. You can’t run away from your pain. Oh, you can try, but you know that it will always show up in some form at themost
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Blame Your Parents For Your Divorce.

In the way of the Buddha, there is no one to blame but yourself.  Or put another way, you are in complete control of everything that happens in your life whether you are conscious of this or not.  And forgiveness is one of the Buddhist teachings anyway so even if you wanted to blame someone, you have to forgive them at the same time. However, you can blame your parents for your divorce. And when
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Eliminating the shame of not being partnered

Our society doesn’t like things to be out of order. It says, we should all be in loving relationships and if you’re not, then there’s something wrong with you.  Your challenge then becomes eliminating the shame of not being partnered. I remember, viscerally, the feeling of being shunned and ostracized by the women who were part of my neighbourhood Mom tribe. The many years of supporting each other with our children: the PTA meetings, Fund-raisers,
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Flowing through grief

Sadness starts as a thought. The realization that something has ended, is lost, will never be, will never be again. It strikes hard. The body reacts and then you must decide; do I resist this and try my best to pretend it didn’t happen or do I accept it and start flowing through the grief? That’s the question. I have found that the 6 stages of heartbreak each have their own quality. And when you
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Overcome Abandonment by Working on Your Roots

“It felt like I was drop-kicked into outer space.” Those were the words I used with my therapist to describe the feeling I was going through during my separation. For years, I had this sensation of free-falling. It was intense as I tried to grasp onto whatever I could during my fall. I had to learn how to deal with and overcome this new sense of abandonment. I found that I could overcome abandonment by
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How to spot a narcissist from a mile away.

I consider myself an expert on narcissistic behavior disorder. My credentials include being the daughter of a narcissistic mother and then picking a narcissistic now ex-husband. These two fundamental love relationships allowed me to become acutely aware of  narcissist energy – from how they love bomb to how they use manipulative language to keep you hooked. Now I want to teach you how to spot a narcissist from a mile away. If you spot it,
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How to Find True Power – the Feminine Essence

Here’s something I have to admit to you. I didn’t know what it meant to be a second-sex until I got married. I realized that I was living my life in mostly a masculine energy way and that if I wanted to be in a healthy relationship with a male that I would have to learn how to find true power - the feminine essence. Masculine vs feminine when I was young I never experienced male superiority of any kind when I was young. Or maybe I did but...
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